going places, just not sure where.

It’s Mother’s Day weekend. It feels like Spring is cautiously entering the room but it’s still a little chilly even though the sun is out. It’s quiet here at my parents’ home while my dad has a nap on the couch. He is in recovery after a hip replacement a few days ago and my mom and I have been playing nurse since he got home. Tomorrow she goes back to work and I’ll stay home to make sure he’s okay. On Tuesday I’m going to visit York University’s Keele campus where I’m starting another undergraduate degree in the Fall. I’ll be taking their Law & Society program and I’m very curious and excited. I went to campus a couple weeks ago and walked around on a self-guided tour, met a few kind people and loved how it felt to be there. I feel excited about meeting new friends and discovering more about what lights me up being in a new space. It feels inspiring to be starting another degree at 29. I think a little life experience goes a long way and I noticed how grateful I felt while walking around campus the other day. Grateful to have the opportunity to go back to school. Grateful to know what I want and be tuned into my own desire for knowledge and connection and meaning. I also noticed how ridiculously high my expectations were when I first attended university in 2013. Or rather, how dissatisfied I was with my surroundings because I didn’t know how to articulate to myself what I actually wanted. I was overwhelmed and I was far from home. This time around I’m listening a little better. I know I want to change the world and not run away from the problems I feel most depressed and devastated by. I want to help heal the planet. I want billionaires to put their money where their mouths are. I want people to have their land back. And maybe instead of feeling paralyzed by the sheer volume of everything going on all at once, I’ve reached a point where I know how to engage. Or at least how to start and try.